Best Man Advice to the Groom

As part of the best man speech you are suppose to give great advice to the groom. Here are some comical ones.
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Oliver Lucas

Published 05 Sep 2023

Best man checking the grooms button hole


The offering of, less than sincere, marital advice to the groom is a traditional part of the Best Man speech. It usually features towards the end of the speech as you move towards the final toast. By no means compulsory but generally liable to raise a titter among the guests and can offer a light-hearted way to comment on marriage.

Wdding ceremony raising a toast

Here are Some Great Examples of Best Man Advice to the Groom ...

Before I finish, I would like to give Al some advice on what people thought were the ingredients to a long and happy marriage so here are a few.

Remember men are like tiled floors. Lay them right first time and you can spend years walking all over them.

Marc: Firstly set the ground rules and establish who’s boss. Then do everything Helen says.

There is also a card from those guys from the Avon Packet Cricket club. It says, ‘Jason was useless in all positions but we hope Christine has more luck with him later’ not sure what that means but anyway…

Congratulations on your special day Alex we will miss u. All the girls from the fantasy lounge XX

Always remember to tell your wife those three important little words [pause] ‘You’re right dear’.

A happy marriage is a matter of give and take. The husband gives and the wife takes.

Remember the 5 rings: the engagement ring, the wedding ring, the suffering, the torturing and the enduring.

Don’t forget Andrew if you buy her flowers, she knows you’re guilty, and she will remember to the second the last time you bought her some … and the reason why!

Whenever you’re wrong, be a man and admit it. Whenever you’re right, just “SAY nothing!” As they say a man who gives in when he is wrong is a wise man. A man who gives in when he is right is married.

Someone once said that marriage is a 50/50 partnership, but anyone who believes that clearly knows nothing about women or fractions!

Never be complacent, always keep an eye out for those little tell-tale signs in your relationship……….like if you see that the milkman’s wearing your socks …Or the postman starts calling round on a Sunday.

Helen, you must remember, men are like fine wines, they start out as grapes and it is your job to stamp on them until they mature into something that you would like to have after dinner. By coincidence, women too are like a fine wine…They start out fresh, fruity and intoxicating to the mind…And then they turn full bodied with age, and eventually give you a splitting headache.

The 5 key tips to a successful marriage.

  • A man who will treat you right and always stand by your side
  • A man who will shower you with gifts and compliments
  • A man who will comfort you in times of trouble.
  • A man who will please you and grant your every request.
  • And, most importantly…. ensure that each man does not know the other ones names.

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